Pips Appreciation Days

Mark your calendars! August 5th, 6th, and 7th have been designated as National Pips Appreciation Days. I’m going ahead and bypassing the usual red tape to get official status. Given that there is a National Tartar Sauce Day in March, I have assumed a formal announcement is all that is required. Actually, there is really no need to limit this to a U.S. holiday season. It would make far more sense to designate these days as World Pips Appreciation Days. I am certain once the ITTF sees how popular this idea is, they will throw their complete support behind it and donate commemorative t-shirts.

You may wonder why we would even want to designate one day to this, much less three. Actually, Saturday the 5th will be Short Pips Day, followed by a rousing celebration on Sunday the 6th to honor all those who have used medium pips. The highlight of the celebration comes on Monday the 7th, when we can all make it a long weekend by spending the day discussing why we love long pips.

The month of August was an obvious choice. August is the one month that is devoid of any major holidays. Any month that has been so overlooked deserves a special holiday season. More importantly, early August is a perfect time for laying new sheets of pips-out rubber in the sun. Three days in ninety degree direct sunlight assures you will be appreciating those pips long after the holidays are over.

Some may argue that there is no need to celebrate pips. Why can’t we just go with World Table Tennis Day which is on April 6th? Certainly World Table Tennis Day is worth celebrating, but we don’t forget Mother’s Day just because there are bigger holidays in December. Consider this fake news: Two out of every three table tennis players blame 44% of their losses on their opponents’ pips. How much longer must pips players labor under the yoke of their pips-out privilege? In fact, the pips-out player is still a minority. It is estimated that by the year 2022, there will be fewer than 20 long-pips players left in America. Most of these will be living in and around Pensacola, Florida.

Now more than ever it’s time for the pips player to be loud and proud, and it’s time to have a day – no, let’s make it three days, to celebrate. Let’s celebrate the player who marches to the beat of a different drummer, the man who chops when he could have looped, the woman who blocks when she might have hit, and the senior citizen who hits it slow when he could have gone fast. Mark your calendars and book your room in Pensacola for the big August event. If you really appreciate playing with or against pips, you don’t want to be left out.

Disclaimer: World Pips Appreciation Days are completely fictional and are not celebrated in the United States or Canada. Any table tennis events in the Pensacola area on the days of August 5th, 6th, or 7th, are purely coincidental.

Warning: The use of long pips without proper instruction has been known to cause stomach cramps, headaches, hives, and blurred vision. Do not use or play against pips without a certified coach’s guidance. The player in this photo is suffering from progressive pips paranoia. Don’t let this happen to you.

Happy World Pips Appreciation Days!!!

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